If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
