Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
COCAINE IS GR8
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