Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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