They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
