Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
