I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize