I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
how do you play pong handcuffed?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize