I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
a search helicopter?!
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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