it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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