I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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