It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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