i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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