oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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