but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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