Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
just come out here and I will go home with you...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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