My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
