Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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