i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
