butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
