Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
