member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
