This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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