Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
