I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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