i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
