About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
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