he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
