paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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