I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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