I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
