Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
