Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
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