haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
