my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
