Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
