remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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