Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
