do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
