Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
