Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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