I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Dignity is for republicans.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize