Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
