O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
