Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm like, not good at living.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
