u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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