I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
