Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
