I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
