she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
