Don't make out with my wife yet
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize