But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
