I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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