Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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