dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Randomize
