im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
