Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
time to smoke my breakfast
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize