wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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