Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I need water and some morals
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
