We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
