Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
