this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
