as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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