Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
