Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
