I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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