i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
So vagazzling was a success
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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