What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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