Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize