dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
