i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Can Purell be used as lube?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
