I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize