Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
