It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
two words...techno handjob
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
