all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
